Trying to Reach a Loved One Who is an Addict Through God
One of the most difficult things to do is watch a loved one destroy themselves. To see them fall apart a little more each day and feel helpless is gut wrenching. You battle with yourself between shaking some sense into them, turning away completely, and every possible thought in between. All the while, you know you cannot fix this for them, no matter how much you may want to. But all of your options are not lost. With a reliance on God and a solid plan, you may have a chance to reach them before it is too late. You just have to know where to begin.
In all things you do, seek solace in your relationship with your Father. When you stay focused on your personal relationship with God, He will strengthen you and fill your mind with peace. This is a trying time. Your soul cries out and your heart bleeds. But, you can be assured in your darkest moments that He is walking with you, supporting you and carrying you. Your daily prayer life will keep you connected to the Father and guide your thoughts and words as you move through this process.
You do not have to face this alone, nor should you have to. Seek support from those you trust the most. Perhaps it is a small group you meet with like a Sunday School class or Bible Study group, Maybe it is a close group of friends or family. Whoever it is you can reach out to, rely on them now. Let them be a sounding board as you decide what you want to say, as well as how and when to approach your loved one. Let them be the ones you cry with and pray with when you feel overwhelmed. This may also be the time to look for support from your physician or other addiction specialist. Rely on those who have been down this road, who have specific training and experience to guide you through the process.
Make a Plan
This is the time to decide how you plan to approach your loved one. You may decide to begin with a simple conversation, or you may choose to stage an intervention. However you approach them, think through how you would like the conversation to go. Plan what you want to say; even going as far as to write things out if that helps you. This plan will sustain you as you move through the conversation; it will serve as a guide when anger and other emotions hit. Your plan should include:
- Statements of how much you love them and what they mean to you.
- Specific incidences of how their addiction has affected you and worried you.
- An offer to approach the next step with them so they know they are not alone.
- A time to listen to their responses and feelings.
Prepare Your Heart
As difficult as it may be, you need to prepare your heart and mind for their possible rejection. Having a conversation like this is not easy for you and your loved one may not want to hear what you have to say. They may react with anger, viciousness, or denial. They may also not be at a point where they desire any sort of a change. You cannot take it personally and you have to remember you cannot make the choice for them.
As you move through the process of approaching your loved one, rely on God, and seek support from your friends and family. If your conversation goes well, you will need them as you help your loved one move forward with their steps into recovery. If your loved one rejects your offer for help, you will need them as you regroup and decide where to go from here. Just remember, you are not alone.