When Your Husband Struggles With Porn: Advice for Christian Wives

What Does Stress Have to Do with My Addiction? - Part 1Few discoveries are more devastating than realizing your husband has a problem with online pornography, the sense of betrayal often equal to the uncovering of an affair. And these discoveries happen when you least expect it – you use your husband’s personal computer to check your email or to watch a DVD and he’s inadvertently failed to clear his browser history. In moments the years of trust, confidence and intimacy crumble.

Confronting your husband about his porn use will not be easy and it will be hard to predict his response. Some husbands will confess their actions, others will promise it was only a one-time thing, some men will promise to never do it again, and some men angrily will assert it’s their right, even transferring the blame onto you. Regardless of his response, it is important to understand that Internet pornography quickly becomes an addiction. He may claim it was only a one-time thing or that he’s through with it, but it often isn’t so easy to quit.

Why Your Husband’s Porn Use Is a Problem

If your husband is a Christian, there can be little biblical justification for the viewing of porn and the masturbation that frequently accompanies the act. Men often experience the allure of pornography without realizing the damaging effect it can have on their spiritual lives. Thus, for the sake of his faith and his ability to be the godly husband and father you need him to be, porn use has to go.

Your husband’s engagement in pornography also affects his sex drive and his ability to perform sexually. His desire, which is meant to be directed at you, is now being sidelined and spent on a screen. You may have noticed that your husband’s interest in sex has waned or perhaps he didn’t have much drive to begin with. This may be indicative of a porn addiction.

Porn addiction changes sexual tastes and may prompt him to suggest sexual acts and approaches that you aren’t comfortable with. He may become increasingly interested in the sterile, highly image-focused, beautiful-people sex that he sees on the screen and lose touch with the reality of married lovemaking.

Porn addiction is a serious concern – mentally, spiritually and physically. If you suspect your husband is struggling with a porn addiction, you both need help.

How to Support Your Husband in Getting Help

If your husband’s engagement with porn has reached addiction, he will resist his attempts to eliminate it on his own. As powerful as an illicit drug, porn often requires stronger medicine. A Christian pornography rehab program can help your husband work through his addiction and its underlying roots, restoring him and helping him to experience victory over this powerful temptation.

If your husband denies a problem but you continue to see evidence to the contrary, a Christian intervention may be in order. If the sin of pornography has gripped your husband’s mind, body and heart, he may be caught in a denial so deep that it will not allow him to see the truth of your concerns. An intervention involving church leaders, elders or other trusted brothers in Christ can help your husband to see the reality of the situation and to consider treatment options.

Christian rehabs that address porn addiction should be considered as well. Many men, especially if porn has been a lifelong problem, will need a very focused approach to dealing with the addiction. Being in a setting in which porn use is impossible, and away from the stresses of life that often drive the behavior, can be essential for healing and lifelong sobriety.